Is it your mind that creates the stress and dis-ease in your body and life or is it the “issues” with your body creating the stress in your head?
Or does it seem like the ‘Dynamic Duo’ to you?
If you had one tool that created peace and calm for you – would you choose it?
I received a beautiful New Year message from a client saying that her three targets for this year are to be fit ,healthy and be kind to herself. The part that touched me was the BE KIND TO HERSELF.
With every aspect of life becoming more demanding, our already over-stimulated minds and bodies are in a state of overload – so finding that sense of ‘space’ and ‘peace’ seems to be harder to achieve. Stress builds up in your body and your mind becomes tight and tense creating that sense of your head being full and throbbing.
Time is becoming a rare commodity and having space for ourselves has almost become a luxury item. We tend to put others before ourselves – “robbing Peter to pay Paul”, and often exclude what nourishes us from our life. This can perpetuate what I call ‘self- debting’.
Ironically, we also gain a lot of joy out of contributing to others lives and it’s when the scales tip that bit too far and we become reactive and cranky that the intense signal that our personal tank is very low on fuel. So how to stop running near empty and change the habit of feeling pressured and overloading ourselves?
First recognise that it is a pattern. Patterns have a habit of repeating themselves and CAN be changed. When we become aware of something that isn’t working for us – we can then have the possibility of making a different choice.
We teach people how to treat us, by how we treat ourselves!
If you find it hard to say no to people and don’t like to disappoint, you can begin to change this by saying to them, “Thank you, I will get back to you on that” buying you some space to consider what actually does work for you. My other favourite tool is “That doesn’t work for me, what else is possible?” You are including you by stating “that doesn’t work for me”. People who are used to you saying yes to them may persist, When you add,” What else is possible? “ you are leaving the door open for other possibilities as telling them a direct no can incite further pressure from them.
We require to include and be gentle on ourselves and that’s the hard part! Have you ever listened to that voice in your head? It can be merciless and relentless with incessant chatter- a lot of it is not kind and contributory!
If you can acknowledge what isn’t working for you, (internally fighting yourself ,a person or the situation isn’t going to change it by the way!) – it could be a relationship, money, or your health, you create awareness for you and empower yourself to consciously respond rather than react on auto-pilot.
It takes strengthening your mental muscle to re-organise your priorities which then begins to break the cycle of mental and physical tension. Which creates immediate relief. You treat you with regard and people will follow suit.
If you discover or know that you have a highly inflammatory reaction to a certain person or situation, a de-cluttering /de-compression of your mind could assist you enormously to have a clear, relaxed mind which facilitates a happier bod and more space filled lifestyle.